Postcard to Heaven

6 05 2007

Hi Pa,  

I’m scared as hell.  After the holdup suspense thriller inside the bus I experienced last week, it’s only tonight I have the realization that I could have been possibly blown off into smithereens with the rest of the passengers and the bus.  The holduppers were armed with caliber 45 and two hand grenades.  I see hatred and desperation painted all over their faces.  If this is post traumatic symptoms, I don’t know.  One guy aimed his pistol right into my face, point blank, thinking I was some big time bank executive who happened to leave his car from home because it’s flat and rode the bus to work.  Too much porma can kill.  He was ready to pull the trigger anytime I resist or twitch a finger.   

For the past days, I have been shrugging off the experience, even trying to make fun of it like telling how my co-passengers were singing some Brader Mike Velarde anthems.  My decision to work here in Manila could have cost me my life. 

At one AM, I called kuya bong on the phone.  He was obviously in his REM.  He asked me if I’m okay.  Hearing his obviously drunk voice was enough to calm me.  Next to you of course, I just wish he was here with me.  I told him I’m good which is half the truth.  I’m living in this big bad city and at any moment, I’m dead meat here and nobody would know, only until they get to see me on TV Patrol or Saksi as the guy floating by the river or one helpless soul with his lung ripped in the dark alleys of Manila.  If that wasn’t a scary thought, I don’t know what is.   

I thought I would be seeing you any moment.  I hope you really are in heaven because it’s more depressing thought that you ain’t there at all.  I miss you a lot these days.  Mommy misses you too.  You haven’t been showing up in my dreams lately.  I sorely miss our conversations.  Always be pogi up there, so that when we see each other, I can be proud that I am your son.   

P.S. Don’t flirt with the angels.  They don’t have vaginas.

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26 responses

8 05 2007
rowjie

hello! thanks for dopping by my blog! i’ll be back to read your posts. 🙂

8 05 2007
rowjie

it’s good that nothing bad happened to you. hmmm… i’m not sure if what i’m thinking is right about your father. but don’t worry, I’m not thinking of anything bad about him.

8 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

thanks rowjie for the shoutout. about my father, the guy passed away lyk ten years ago already. but m still stuck in the moment of having him around. the guy is great. incidentally, father’s day coincides to his bday this year. tsk. miss him bigtime. ha! ha.

i’ll be adding you in the blogroll. m sure it’s ok, right?

8 05 2007
Cat

hi there

the worst thing that happened to me inside the bus was my phone got stolen and I was already scared(and also fuming). I don’t know you but Im glad, and Im sure your family does too, that you were ok.

I always carry a pepper spray just in case something I call a life and death situation will happen to me, but I hope I will not use it.

I think your Pa was your angel that time.

8 05 2007
badoodles

hi Cat, thanks I’ll be adding you to my blogroll too. you must be psychic. My daddy-in-law-to-be thinks too because even last year during my pamanhikan, he saw a man in haze followed me at the kitchen. but i still doubt it because he wasn’t even there on my most important moment lyk when i was circumcised and ‘baptized to manhood’. 🙂

8 05 2007
Cat

hahaha,I didnt expect that, sorry.

How can you be sure he was not there? The time of pamanhikan, it was your FIL to be who saw something(for me, that was scarier hehehe), it wasn’t you. Maybe the time of your baptism, he was there too, sitting beside you…and smirking, kidding

at least, it crossed your mind that it was your Father 🙂

I’ll link you up too. Thanks

8 05 2007
badoodles

ha! ha! you’re hilarious. and the miyao-miyao with a cap pix looks cool.

8 05 2007
junanteola

a friend once witnessed another pedestrian a meter in front him get shot pointblank. he had fever for two days, and it took him weeks to get over the sleepless nights, and hearing empty shells hitting the pavement.
you are ok now, i hope?

8 05 2007
tinnerts

Hi rex, cool ng blog mo. next time I post something from you I’ll let you know 😛

9 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

ei doc jun musta convention nyo? natuloy ka b? nice observation. had fever and flu for mor dan a week now. my temperature is mercurial it gets high at night and back to normal at day. my anti flu vaccine is failing me (or maybe there’s a new strain of flu virus i don’t know). i think m ok but the body says otherwise. pina-cancel ko na nga din ung prophylaxis ko for today.

9 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

tinnerts, sinong rex? nyahaha… promise mo di mo ire-reveal ang identity ni superman a.k.a me kahit pa bigyan ka nila ng free foot spa saka kung anu-anong freebies. promise? the idea of a farm guy going to the city is… well superman, pero kaw lang dapat nakakaalam san ako work baka mahuli ako ng mga bad elements saka ni lex luthor. 🙂

9 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

ooopss, forgot tinnerts. be adding you in my blogroll, with yawr permission… if dat’s ok

9 05 2007
junanteola

the convention went ok, toxic as usual. i didn’t get to enjoy my stay, didn’t have time to go around until a few hours before leaving. nanuod na lang ng Spider-Man 3. and a bit of pasalubong shopping. hehehe.
oist, pag magpatuloy yang fever, see a doctor na.

10 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

tonyt pa lang kami manonood ng spidey 3, movie passes lang kasi ha! ha!… we have company doctor doing round the clock job kaso di ko sinisipot kasi lam ko na sasabihin nun. chew your foods well, don’t drink soda, go grow and glow.

saka di rin ako sanay sa special attention specially ive grown from the prabins. any sickness away from the heart won’t kill you. yaan mo na, matigas lang talaga ulo ko.

10 05 2007
tiamy

Loko ka talaga…pati yung ano ng angels napagtripan mo…tawa ako nang tawa dito…hahah…

10 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

He he… matulis kasi ‘yung tatay ko. mahilig magkalat ng lahi. baka biglang magulat sa mga anghel na wala na yung kwan, naging pakpak na pala. buti na ‘yung ma-warningan. Nyahaha!

16 05 2007
cga

ankulit ng ending, haha 🙂 your dad may have figured it out na rin. i hope all’s better with you now. thanks for the comment in clarechronicles.

16 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

thanks for dropping by clare. gudlak to your vice mayor bro. ako di ko natulungan si brader ko. maga ang cornea mo sa kababantay ng boto nyan. he he! 🙂

20 05 2007
cga

parang may black eye(s) nga ako eh, sobrang puyat! hello ulit! tapos na ang kalbaryo ko 🙂 panalo. musta yung sa bro mo naman?

21 05 2007
badoodles

congrats to ur bro! panalo din si kuya. as usual, he’s broke again. di ako magpapakita ngayon baka mangutang. he he! di ko na natulungan sa pagbabantay but m sure he understands… 🙂

5 09 2007
Rally

I just thought this is a simple yet moving and powerful story/essay. My own father died a couple of years ago so I sort of know what you’re talking about.

5 09 2007
badoodles

@rally mahirap nga ung vacuum na naiwan ni papa especially ung naiwang responsibilities. nahirapan din mga kapatid ko kasi biglaan, but we’re now good, by Papa Jesus’ gracia.

23 09 2007
randomdemeanor

Piskotes nga talga tong mga bad guys na ‘to…huhuhhhuh..
Naiiyak na naman ako kasi naalala ko yung dalawang beses akong nahold-up.

Nung first time: Tinutukan ako ng ala Robin Padilla na kutsilyo at sabi”Miss, akin na celfone mo para ‘lang gulo”.Papatulan ko sana ..eh..may baby sa tabi ko with a very scared Ina..binigay ko nalang celfone ko..Okey na un..mabibili mo lng naman un kesa madamay pa buhay mo or worse, buhay ng iba . Lesson ito para sa gumagamit na celfone sa public vehicles.

Kung may “love is sweeter the second time around”..ako “hold-up is more bitter the second time around”.Galing ako nun sa ATM, kakawithdraw ng last money.Naisip ko, ipapasok ko sana sa aking bra yung na withdraw kong monets.. kasi naging technique ko na un mag nung mula first time ko maholdap. Pero naisip ko, baka di na mauulit.. kaya ibinulsa ko nalng instead na ilagay sa bralets ko.

At…yun ang nangyari.Nung una, isa lang ang nang-holdap sa akin.Sa napakaraming passengers na nakasakay eh,ako lng ang naholdap nun (ako lng yata ang may celfone dun..heheh)

Ngayon, 3 kaming pasahero, 3 silang holdapers at may revolver lang naman ang bawat isa sa kanila. Bale,…tig-isa isa kami ng holdapers. Akala ko celfone lng din gusto nila…denekwat pati last money ko..huhuhuhu…

Sa trabaho kong ito…ngayon ko lng napatunayan ang pagiging night shift ang pinakadelikado…kala ko sabi-sabi lng yun dati…

23 09 2007
badoodles

@random kahit nga sabihin ng mga kaibigan kong mag inagt lagi, pero kung ikaw aabutan ng ganun, ala ka talagang magagawa. importante bigay na lang kung ano ang gusto, kaya din namang kitain ulit ung nawala kesa buhay kapalit. ako nga, meron na akong contingency fund, naka-budget na for da year ‘yung makukuha ng holdaper sa kin. hehe, sira ulo ko talaga. 😉

24 09 2007
randomdemeanor

contingency fund???…uhhmm..”pare..holdap ‘to..akin na lahat ng contingency fund mo”…wakekekekekkekekekkkekek..

swerte ng holdaper,pinaghandaan mo talaga…

adik na yata ako sa mga blogs mo…di nako makablog dahil blog mo nalng ang binabasa ko…hehehehhe..idol!

22 11 2007
maktub

thank you for this post! =) masamang damo ka siguro kaya di ka na-deads hehe peace.. seriously, take care! =)

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