Spider Man 3: Penis Innuendos and Kissing Scene on the Flipside

11 05 2007

Spider Man 3 is just like 1 and 2 made longer.  When I saw Sam Raimi’s name flashed onscreen as director of the last of his trilogy, I dreaded he may not be able to pull it again.  I was wrong.  Though the guy is crazy, he managed to place all the chaos in the storyline in its order.   

Parker struggles with his own demons with the coming of the black Spider suit.  Except for his unintentional slapping of MJ, I think Parker is cooler with his dark suit on.  He does John Travolta Saturday night fever moves, smacks the hideous photographer Eddie Brock, kills the Sandman, and puts Osborn on fire for being a cry-baby.  That’s what superhero is all about right?, killing bad people and whiners.   

The usual Raimi signatures are evident in the movie.  All his characters are always a bunch of physical imperfections.  I guess he puts character in the characters by distorting the physical.  The police, Osborn’s butler, Parker’s dorm manager, Flint Marko, hell everyone looks dysfunctional here except for newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard (from M.Night Shyamalan’s Lady in the Water) who’s role is to wear a smile and kiss Spiderman on the flipside.  If dating someone who looks like a fairy is normal to you, she passes up as the only normal character here.  The daughter of Parker’s dorm manager looks like an ambassador of malnutrition with the gaunt.  Parker’s usual big bug eye and MJ’s a little protruded lateral incisors are a feast to Sam Raimi’s fetishes.  Even Harry Osborn did not escape to Raimi’s god complex with his left face burned and frittered. 

Raimi also tries his ‘Three Stooges’ comedy antics in a scene where Parker is supposed to propose to MJ in the restaurant.  The restaurateur keeps on calling him ‘Pecker’ which drives the audience to laughter.  Very ‘Three Stooges’. 

The Spiderman creator has his cameo appearance in the movie (the scene before Parker is given the symbolic key to New York city).  How do I know?  I don’t.  If you place a bunch of intellectual twerps inside a movie theater, you overhear pop trivias like this from everywhere.  MyCompany paid the 6:30 – 10:00 pm block of Greenbelt 3 for the exclusive screening of its pa-pampam overly-intelligent employees.  And it’s a heaven when every moviegoer gets the punchline and laughing in unison.  You don’t always experience that in a movie theater.  Sometimes people laugh because others are laughing. 

There are two important lessons here.  One, even superheroes need emotional validation (Parker is always in his ‘O everyone loves me? Everyone loves me!’ self-reassurance).  And two, ‘To be a husband, you have to put your wife first in everything you do’. No, there’s no ‘Great power comes great responsibility’ sound byte here.  If you ask how does ‘To be a husband, you have to put your wife first’ fit in a spider movie?  I don’t know.  It’s just there.  You don’t believe me ?  Go watch the movie and find out yourselves.  Moron.

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14 responses

15 05 2007
Cat

whew! whattareview!

you know what, I wouldn’t know it was Stan Lee either, people at our back mentioned it and we just said ” oo nga noh”

I don’t think this would be the last Spiderman movie, there are several villains from the series/comics that they could add to the movies and there’s Gwen Stacy who died in the Marvel comics, maybe the next Spiderman, they will show it since it was spiderman who killed her…hehehe, maybe it’s just me coz i dont want spiderman to end 🙂

15 05 2007
badoodles

yehey! may nagbasa rin ng spider movie review ek ek ko.

hi cat, great movies come in trilogy (matrix, lotr, xmen, etc). i’m thinking it’s the end of the spiderman saga (kasi wala siya sa mga future movie plans ni sam raimi, unless iba ang mag-didirect). who knows, may part 4 pa din, spidey boi might be an exception to the rule. 🙂

15 05 2007
Cat

wag naman sana, hehehe..not all great movies, there’s the star wars 🙂

cheers!

15 05 2007
badoodles

uu nga no. de pa kasi ako nakakapanood ng star wars kahit isa. ninja lang kasi gusto ko saka pirates. pero meron akong alam na character si chewbacca – kasama kasi sa freebies ng McDo noon noon pa. curious lang, what makes a star wars a hit? – question from a 100% clueless.

15 05 2007
tiamy

I-direct na ni Sam Raimi ang lahat ng Spiderman movies…basta wag nya i-a-accept at gagalawin ang The Hobbit…kay Peter Jackson lang yun….matapos man ang lawsuit vs. New Line or not… 😛

16 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

pre, nakapanood na ko ng spideyman, de na ko maiinggit sa inyo. he he.

narinig ko nga usap-usapan yan ng mga ka-intelliggence brain cells sa may penthouse. de ko alam na may lawsuit na pala.

16 05 2007
Cat

wag mo akong tanungin, hehehe. Naintindihan ko lang ang Star Wars saga ng napanood ko na ang Revenge of the Sith, yan yung pinakalast na pinalabas na Star Wars movie, hehehe

16 05 2007
badoodles.wordpress.com

revenge of the zit, di ba episode 3 un?

20 05 2007
cga

baket ko nga ba binasa ito bago ko pinanuod ang movie? shet. hehehehe. havent seen it. showing pa ba sa manila? kampanya kasi, hindi ako makatakas para manood…

si stan lee pacute talaga hahaha laging may cameo sa mga ginagawang movie ng characters niya…

21 05 2007
badoodles

may celebrity complex din pala c pareng stan. nood ka na dali. celebrate ur brother’s win. okay daw sa imax mall of asia ung ala 3d rendering ng movie.

8 06 2007
jp

trip ko yung emo parker scene. it’s what made this movie, imho. hehehe…

at dahil diyan, sana may sm4 pa.

9 06 2007
badoodles

teka muna nash, saan dun? ay naku, puro dila-dila scene lang kasi inaabangan ko sa mga movies. nagui-guilty tuloy ako for being mundane. 🙂

22 06 2007
jp

masyadong wholesome ang SpiderMan para hanapan ng sipsip dila. 😆

emo parker scene=black spider man. astig e.

3 07 2007
badoodles

nyahaha jp. pinapa-guilty mo na ako masyado. haha! ung transformer pare, pinanood mo na? astig din daw, sayang wala oras lumabas… baka makahabol pa.

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