Father’s Day Greetings From Planet Earth

Hi Pa, 

It’s Sunday morning and I’m here at the cemetery sitting right at your tomb.    I’m  downing the last bottle of cold Red Horse beer straight into my veins.  Too bad, you can’t have some. How long have you been down there?  Ten years?  Man, you must be a fertilizer now.  I’m lost in time and for me it’s like only yesterday.  I am used to having you around and I haven’t moved on since.  But now,  I am visiting you for the last time, talk of the things we haven’t said and talk about all the promises unspoken.  I think it’s time for me to move on. 

Remember the time I was a young kid and you used to carry me at your back on our way home after watching movies with Mommy?  That’s the best childhood memory stuck in my mind.  The memory lives in here [pointing at my chest].  And I couldn’t help bragging to my siblings that I was your favorite though it’s supposed to be our secret.  And remember the time you were accompanying me to the bus to school?  You were gripping me hard like I wouldn’t return home. I had to tell you that you were crushing my hands.  Now I’m missing the man with those rough hands and gentle eyes. 

I was in third year high school when we had the news from home.  When I came home, Mommy was already crying.  You were battling against your heart problem and your last bout to life was painful to recall.  Mommy said you were calling my name before you let go your last gasp of breath.  You died wanting to see me.  I was late.  I’m sorry. 

If only I know what I had known now, I would have been more grateful to you.  I would have gone home when you were sick.  I would have not ignored the wisdom of your thoughts.  I would have responded yes when you asked me to take care of my younger siblings when you get older.  I would have loved you more.  I would have asked less. 

There are still many things left unsaid.  I want to tell you that I am making good money now as a software engineer in a big, big company.  I am also sending bunso Angelie to college.  She wants to be a nurse.  On Saturdays, I teach.  I teach my students about computer, life-in-general-like-the-ones-you’ve-taught-me, and some corny jokes.  Computer by the way is that tv-shaped monitor with a typewriter connected to it.  And no, I’m not a secretary.    

Soon, I would have a family of my own and I would raise my children the way you did.  I would carry my kids at my back when we go home after watching movies.  I would walk them to the beach and watch the sun bow on our feet.  We would play in the rain and chase the pot at the end of the rainbow.  We would gaze the stars and weave all the dreams.   Pa, you know you’re not the best father in the world, but hell I care.  For all the love, you are missed in this lifetime.  Happy Father’s Day and Happy Birthday!